April Trubmeister's Meeting Newsletter - kinda sorta

The April meeting drew the usual collection of fools and a couple extras
which were nice to make fun of and only added to the folly.  The food, beer
and wine were all very good but an ALL GRAIN red ale won what was supposed
to be an EXTRACT ONLY competition (the only reason I brewed an extract in
March by the way)!  Apparently, (things quickly started to get a bit fuzzy
at this point) an evil doctor and her nurse snuck in at the last moment and
shot the judges full of Demerol or some such, and rigged the competition.
It worked.  They swept the competition and won a giant ceramic beer mug -
which if they ever drink beer out of, the bottom cleverly dissolves off of
it and they'll have a lap-full of beer - HA!!! They'll get theirs!

Most people were entirely too sober for me to understand what they were
saying (I was a judge), and like Jeff said, nobody even took their clothes
off. Ok, that's a good thing, but it's not like I'd remember anyway.

I did have to laugh, when right after beer judging MJ picked Steve up, spun
him around her shoulders and tossed him over the deck railing, when Steve
suggested he light some fireworks.  She muttered something about a "previous
incident" and "not as long as she still wears the pants..."  Note to self:
Don't piss MJ off - evidently she watches A LOT of WWF!

They left shortly after that because Steve was crying and he had to change
his underwear - nobody seemed mind him leaving.

It was a chilly night so Brian built a wonderful bon-fire on the upper deck
in one of those Greek copper fire bowl thingy's.  Dianne fed Jeff grapes and
drank mead while Jeff savagely chewed on a Turkey leg and occasionally
laughed heartily at the rambling jokes and tales of conquest be bantered
about around the fire pit.  Jim concluded the fire was not big enough so he
decided to light the wooden deck railing on fire.    Upon setting the deck
ablaze, we quickly decided Jim's a dangerous pyro and was not being a
well-mannered guest so we extinguished the deck fire (and Jim) with Betty's
"Award Winning" porter - to which there were many cheers.  Brain and Betty
were oblivious to all this, as Betty had just discovered a software
listening device in her refrigerator's fruit drawer and was arguing with
George and Brian about the best way to uninstall it and reformat the fridge
partition.  George was adamant that refrigerators don't ever need
reformatting, (they're self-cleaning) while Brian insisted that all it
needed was a BIOS upgrade.

As the evening got a bit later, I made the mistake of asking Betty about the
hackers watching her every move.  She proceeded to show me the
software-cameras seamlessly installed in various pieces of furniture, within
(not behind) mirrors, in family photos, and under the toilet seats (they are
a brilliant feat of programming generous, if I do say so myself - I'd love
to see the source code - but NOT the images!).  Then Betty, Brian, Noah and
I all danced the Bunny Hop for the hackers while mooning all the software
cameras.  WAY too much fun!

Finally at about 1:45am, I suggested we ding-dong-ditch the neighbors.
Betty went ballistic and accused me of doing so to them the previous weekend
(NO WAY she can prove it!) She opened a can of Whoop Ass and before I knew
what was happening, she had me in a full nelson, or a headlock - I don't
recall which, I just remember being bent-up, staring down at the floor and
seeing lots of carpet stains - and out the door I went, while muttering
something incoherent about her dirty claws! (If you ask me, these North
Shore chicks watch WAY to much WWF!)

All in all, it was your typical, uneventful, monthly Trubmeisters meeting.

Those who were not judges may have a different recollection of the actual
events.

Tom

EX el Presidente' et al and stuff